Week 2: Create and Share Your Personal Message or Story

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Uncover Your Personal Message


A few years ago, I received a call from Kayla, a seasoned real estate agent. She had been a real estate agent for nearly twenty-years. She was successful by industry standards as she consistently ranked in the top 10% of all real estate agents nationally.



The issue was that she wasn’t happy. Kayla had lost her passion for the business. Each day she was just going through the motions. She said she felt like she was living in the movie Ground Hog Day.



Kayla was competitive and she pushed herself to stay at the top of her industry. However, the conflict between staying at the top and feeling disenchanted by her work was undermining her success. She told me that her indifference to the business was causing her customer service to fail, and she believed that this would ultimately lead to the demise of her business.



Kayla wanted to feel excited to go to work again. She wanted to feel connected to something greater than the commission checks she was cashing. She wanted to care again.



Signs you are Disconnected
Kayla is not alone, hundreds of sales people I have met show the signs of being disconnected to the product or service they are selling. The result of being disconnected presents itself in sales people in the following ways:


• Avoiding lead generation activities


• Not knowing what to say


• Not believing in yourself, company, or product


• Fear of looking salesy


• Procrastination


• Not following through


• Apathy


• Lethargy



You may relate to one or more of these, as I do. There have been several times in my career that I have become disenchanted with the direction I was going, and I needed to adjust my focus to regain excitement again.



Avoid the Existential Vacuum
This is natural. There is nothing wrong with reevaluating the reasons behind the activities we call our career. Just be careful not to get stuck in the existential vacuum.


The existential vacuum is the circular question that asks, “What is life all about?” or “What is my greater purpose?” Outside of spirituality these questions will lead you on a circular path with no clear answers.



The reason for this is the human construct of careers, businesses, and sales are outside the spiritual realm. Therefore, I have discovered, applying spiritual concepts to manmade constructs do not provide the answers we desire.



The secret is to focus on concepts that apply to sales, like customer needs, values, and interests.



Find your Passion or Mission
The opportunity to combine passion with how you earn a living is thought to be a luxury for only a few lucky people. Yet, this disempowering belief implies that we are not in control of the things we are passionate about. This begs us to dive deeper into some common questions about passion.


In the sales environment passion is the strong emotion or desire that we feel towards an activity, product, company, or result. “James is passionate about helping people save money on life insurance.” Some people have a distaste for idealistic words like passion. For them I use the word mission in its place. “James’ mission is to help people save money on life insurance.” Passion is an intrinsic motivation that comes from within us, verses an external motivation like sales quotas, bonuses, awards, and peer pressure.



Where Passion Comes From
In the book Man’s Search for Meaning, the renowned psychiatrist Viktor Frankl known for his deep understanding of happiness states “…happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself…”



Did you hear it, “dedication to a cause greater than oneself”? Frankl had found that when his patients focused on people, causes, and things other than their own self, they found themselves to be happier and more passionate.



This is because, when we focus on what makes “us” happy, we are pulled into the existential vacuum and the pit of never-ending human desire. The more we ask ourselves what would make us happy the more “things” the mind tells us we need to have to be happy.



This spiral-down continues until we feel disempowered due to the seemingly unachievable milestones we place on happiness. This is why I am not a big fan of vision-boards. For some people vision-boards can set up the construct in our minds that material possessions and luxury vacations are what we need to be happy.



When we focus on the needs of other people, causes, and solutions we stay out of the existential vacuum.



The Secret to Finding Your Passion or Mission
I believe that the reason you chose a career in sales was not by happenstance. My experience has proven to me, time and time again, that people choose a career in sales either by intention or an unconscious desire. When the true meaning behind this choice is uncovered and take action to fulfill that meaning, then passion and inspiration follows.



I help sales people uncover their true meaning with my Personal Story Exercise. This exercise helps you uncover the real reason you chose a sales career and helps you connect with the something greater or more important than oneself.



These are things like helping a group of people, making an impacting on an industry, solving a specific problem, and protecting people or things. These do not need to become your life’s mission. Just the issue you are focusing on solving at this given time in your life.



The more you feel emotionally connected to the issue or group the more resiliency you will have to overcome adversity and roadblocks you are sure to face on your journey.



“…listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run… success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it.” Viktor Frankl


The Power of a Personal Message

Kayla didn’t feel passionate anymore. Therefore, she was not providing the service she provided before. This left her feeling like a failure.


She began asking herself “What is wrong with me?” Like the existential vacuum questions like these do not serve you and will not lead you on the path to success, fulfillment, or happiness. They will only perpetuate the problem. Kayla was considering quitting the business altogether.



I worked with Kayla to help her uncover her personal message. The exercise helped her find meaning to her mission. She discovered how she lost focus with her own interests, views, and values and this led to her not seeing the real impact she is making in people’s lives.



Kayla became unstoppable. She was excited to go to work each day and share how she can help improve her customer’s lives.




When you have clarity of your purpose or mission you will become intrinsically motivated. This will empower you to give greater effort than just being told what to do without meaning.



Meaning drives human behavior more than money. Although, for some people money has a substantial meaning. Lack of meaning is the most common reason I find that sale people are dissatisfied with their career.



The Personal Message Exercise is designed to help you uncover the meaning behind why are in sales. Why you chose this specific industry, and how to uncover your passion or mission.



Make the commitment today to complete the Personal Message Exercise by asking yourself these powerful questions that will clarify your meaning, empower you, and develop your personal message that will resonate with your customers.

Personal Message Exercise


You are going to create meaning in your work by uncovering the real reason you chose to be in sales. Then you will develop a personal your message. You will use this message to remind yourself about why you are doing the activities you are doing and how it is making an impact on the cause, industry, or customers you care about.



The process of uncovering your story is like peeling the layers of an onion. We will begin with the outer layers and work our way into the core where the real reason you are in sales exists. Like peeling an onion, the more layers we peel off the more tears may fall.

This exercise requires you to be completely open and honest with yourself. When you reach emotional points, you may want to stop, or get distracted by other things. I encourage you to keep pushing deeper into the emotional layers.

The stronger the emotional connection to what you’re doing and why you’re doing it will translate into determination and resilience in the face of adversity. The emotion is the fuel that will push you through difficult times.

Let’s be honest, many people chose a sales career because of the ability to make a lot more money and have more freedom and flexibility than they could if they were working in other careers. Yet, if this is the mantra you have been repeating in your mind then this is the likely cause of your frustration.

 
If you are thinking your sales career is the path to freedom and unlimited wealth, then how do you respond when an upset customer interrupts your freedom by contacting you at an inconvenient time? Frustrated, short, inappropriate tone of voice… You see, we respond to situations based on the meaning behind our thoughts. Anyone seasoned in sales knows the truth: You can make a lot of money or you can have freedom and flexibility, but it is nearly impossible to sustain both for any significant period of time.

If you changed your thinking to “I chose my career because it solves a problem and is a solution to someone’s frustration.” Then you receive an inconvenient call, you may see it as an opportunity to relieve someone’s frustration by solving their problem.

Industry
Begin with the outer layer of the onion. Think about the industry you are in. What things do you like about it? What attracted you to it? How did you come choose this industry? Remember dig deep. It wasn’t by mistake, that you chose this industry. There is a reason you are not a School Teacher, an Engineer, or Plumber. If there is a story behind it what is that story?

Remember to not to focus on you and your personal gain. Focus on the impact your industry makes on people and the solutions it provides.

Interests
How does your industry support the interests you care deeply about? (The real estate industry supports home ownership and real estate investment. These are both interests of mine.)

Views
What are the views within the industry that you agree with? (The Association of REALTORS believes that home ownership is an important to helping people build wealth, and I agree with this statement.)

Values
What values does your industry support that are also in alignment with your values? I provided a list of the top 10 corporate values to help jog your mind.

1. Integrity
2. Trust
3. Accountability
4. Commitment to Customers
5. Passion
6. Continuous Learning
7. Diversity
8. Innovation
9. Quality
10. Simplicity


Review your answers. Do they excite you to be a part of your industry? Do your answers empower you to want to share these insights with others? If you have discovered that your current answers are not serving you and wish to rewrite your answers to the questions, I encourage you to do so. Extra time on these exercises now. It will save you from hundreds of hours, possibly years, of trial and error later.

Company
Many of today’s customers want to know that their money is being spent on companies that support their interests, views, and values. When you work for a company you are automatically associated with the companies’ messaging and brand and in turn the company is associated with your ability to represent that messaging and brand.

Like it or not, you are a Brand Ambassador. When you have the ability to articulate why this company is the right choice for you, you will have the ability to clarity communicate to the customer why the company is the right choice for them. If you work for a company, take the time to thoughtfully answer the following questions. Answer these questions as if your customers are reading them.

Why did you choose the company you work for?


What interests, views, and values do they stand for?
Interests:
Views:
Values:


How do these interests, views, and, values align with you?
Interests:
Views:
Values:


In what ways is your companies’ interests, views, and, values different than the competition?


Finish this sentence: By supporting my company, you are supporting…


Finish this sentence: The reason I choose to work for/with (company) is…


Product/Service
What do you believe is the most important 2-3 products or services you or your company provides that makes the largest impact on the causes or people (customers) you care about?

Top 2-3 products or services
1.
2.
3.


What one problem does your product or service solve? (Make this as specific as possible.)

Specifically, who does it help?

How does that problem negatively affect the causes and people you care about?

What do the causes and people you care about lose financially?


What do the causes and people you care about lose personally?


What do the causes and people you care about lose emotionally?



How does your solution positively affect the causes and people you care about?

      What do the causes and people you care about gain financially?


      What do the causes and people you care about gain personally?


      What do the causes and people you care about gain emotionally?


Why is it important for you to help 
the causes and people you care about to avoid the losses and receive the gains?

Great job! Don’t quit now we are almost finished. 

By now you should be able to see the pattern. Do you see a theme that is consistent from who you are at the core to why you chose the industry you are in? It is like a thread that weaves through the tapestry of you, the product, your company, and your industry. It is what brought you to the industry and what also binds you to the industry.

Personal
Next think about who you are personally; not who you have been told you should be. Be open and honest with your answers, awareness of your beliefs will free you from trying to act like or become someone you don’t wish to be.

Wishing or forcing yourself to become someone else is a fool’s task. No matter how hard you try you will never become someone else, you won’t even become similar, you can only become you.

Your goal is to gain clarity about who you are so you can become the happiest and most fulfilled sales person that you can be. You can only achieve this if you are clear about what things you care deeply about.


What career interests do you want to be known for supporting?

What views about your industry, company, or career excite or empower you?

What are three unwavering values that you wish to bring to your work every day?

1)
2)
3)



What specific impact do you wish to make on your industry, customers, or cause?

How are you different from your competition?



Your Personal Message:


Finish this sentence: I help ____(
the causes and people you care about)____ by _____(Actions)_____ with _______(Tools)_____ so that they can _______(Their Heaven)____________ and avoid ________(Their Hell)____________.



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